Spiritual Healer’s Handbook — When You Just Can’t Take It Anymore


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Spiritual Healer’s Handbook — When You Just Can’t Take It Anymore
Dealing as a Spiritual, Magickal Caregiver of Alzheimer/Dementia or Terminally Ill Patients

by Silver RavenWolf

Unless you are a Saint, you are going to go there.  It may hit you out of the blue or you may have felt it coming for several days.

There you are…standing in the sick room (or maybe on your knees covered in urine) screaming either aloud or internally:  “I just can’t take it any more!”

You mean it — yes, yes, you REALLY do.

Now what?

Of course as this is a public article and since I am in no way an expert schooled to tell you what to do, I must defer you to seek qualified, professional, medical assistance, particularly if you are urged to put a plastic bag over the patient’s head.  Hey, if you don’t have humor when you are a caregiver, what good are you?

That said…

Let’s move on.

When I’ve had those moments, here’s what I did:

First, I always ask Spirit for help.  Always.  Either aloud or in my head — it doesn’t matter, Spirit always hears you.  Your call may be answered by an actual phone call from a friend or understanding family member, or by someone dropping by, or by a commercial on the television, or a book falling off a shelf.  No kidding.  If you only knew how many times people have written to me over the years to tell me that my books have literally jumped off the shelf and have either hit them or landed at their feet when they really needed help you would be astounded.

Next, take several deep, cleansing breaths (I realize when you are sobbing this is difficult — try anyway.)  These cleansing breaths are really helpful and healthful.  Eventually, you will gain some control.

If you are in the patient’s room — walk out, shut the door.  Go outside if you can.  Vigorously shake yourself.  No kidding!  Your hands, arms, legs, etc.  Tap your arms, legs and trunk of your body with your hands.  This is actually a Tai Chi technique that helps to get your energy flowing and removes blocked areas.  Slap yourself like you’ve got bugs crawling all over you — because, really, in a sense, you do.  This invigorating exercise always feels terrific!  Try it!

Immediately change your routine.  I realize that you are held to certain time tables — medicine, appointments, and other health oriented needs; but, there is no reason why you can’t adjust other things that you have slated as your personal routine in caregiving.  I realize that Alzheimer’s and Dementia patients can be somewhat OCD and that changing a routine can be a problem — but, truly, I’ve found there is always wiggle room — take advantage of it.  If yesterday was a horrible day, change today’s pattern in some way.  You can do small things — hang a new picture on the wall, add flowers to a table, clean out a junk drawer, make arrangements to run your errands at a different time, do the laundry first thing in the morning rather at 1:00 PM, etc.

By changing your routine you break the negative pattern of action and thought.

Pick up your phone and reach out to a loving friend or family member (don’t choose someone who you know is historically a jerk).  You need support, not recriminations.  Many times just talking to someone about anything but your caregiving experience can be very reassuring.  Too, if you need to blow your guts about that awful day, you can do that as well.

Take a shower.  Yup.  Running water is a healthy way to deal with the stress affecting body, mind, and spirit.  The sound, the ions produced, the flow of water down the drain — every bit of it is good for you.  If you can’t take a shower, then simply hold your hands under running water as you breathe deeply.  Keep doing this until you feel calm and collected — meaning that tightness between the shoulder blades has eased significantly.

Find something uplifting in the moment.  Let’s say today was a very, very bad day.  You have a break and you are running an errand.  Your brow is furrowed, your shoulders are tight, and you are hunched over the steering wheel of your car.  Your frown is deeper than a pothole.  As you sit at the traffic light you are focused only on your stress…until you look up and see the most beautiful autumn tree over there by that building, ringed with fiery red mums.  There is always beauty…always.  You just have to pay attention.

Finally, on those bad days — find something creative to do.  Anything.  As long as you are being creative and can allow yourself to be lost in the process.  Whether you are cooking, playing with a car or computer part, enjoying a video game (well, that’s sort of creative), drawing, painting, crochet, knit …whatever!  Let what you love to do carry you — that’s why Spirit gave you the talent (whatever it may be) in the first place.

Then, sit back and say, “Okay, okay…I can do this.  I can!”

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18 thoughts on “Spiritual Healer’s Handbook — When You Just Can’t Take It Anymore”

  1. I’m always worried about crocheting when angry or sick. I wonder if the yarn and stitches can get infected by my anger or sickness projecting itself so I usually put it off until I’m in a better mood or well again. But I also see your point of view. Distracting our bad moods can change them too. Thank you so much for your help and to Spirit for sending me here. 🙂

    1. You can always cleanse those items you are working on later — with holy water, tuning forks, chanting, singing, sacred smoke or prayer. I, too, will hold off on certain projects when my brain is really in the toilet; but, generally, I’ll work to the point of serenity, and then when the project is finished, cleanse it. Thanks so much for posting! You are the greatest!

  2. wonderful words of truth and encourgment, you are so right beauty is right in front of us, look beyond the pain and there it is our very own rainbow, a loving hug…..smile you are loved:)

  3. What a beautiful piece. While it certainly provides inspiration for caregivers, it also provides wonderfully positive ideas for anyone who is feeling at the end of their rope or what ever reason. Thank you for sharing this.

  4. WOW..this post is so needed!!! LOVE this info you gave here. Thanks for such a beautiful, truthful and new way of going about the sick and healing. Keep these posts coming..they are such a highlight to read for my day.

  5. An amazing post, Silver. Thanks! So very true. Being a CNA myself (working as a caregiver in an assisted living facility), I deal with this everyday. And yup, either on a personal or professional level, there are “breaking points” some days (& yes, usually when one is the knees covered in all sorts of bodily goo), when one thinks “what the heck was I *thinking* when I got into this profession?!?! 🙂

  6. You are such a strong woman. always have been and always will be.
    It seems that we all have burdens that we need to handle each and every
    day. It doenst seem to be getting better. I wish you and your dad the very
    best lovely lady.

  7. im sorry for ever leaving anything on your website or blog i was drunk and to be honest a little angry at the way military pagans who are not drugged up hippies are treated and why even if i am willing to pay top dollar your companies like lew arent prepared to ship to apos while i am a pagan i dont practice magick maybe rarly im a warrior im glad you do nice things for people i humbly request not be notified again my talents are not in majick please understand that many supposed leaders of modernday paganisim are glorified drug addicts or super feminects that hate males in general when i was in iraq last time one of my elders talked about how a female elder said he dint know how to pray becuse he had a penis and i myself suffered becuse i supported a female elder who in reality was just nothing but a drug addict and thats why probubly thor grabbed me and said your cool dick head look i apologize for ever contacting you you are a very powerfull elder in my entire life ive only met one leon but i was into celtic shit at that time but even though i dont know why asatrue is my path our warriors abroud should not be belittled by both sides the ability to practice glorias pagan faith weither roman ,greek,celtic,nordic,egytpian or anything else im just giving a shout out to dark god energy as you call it blessed be

    1. Wow! Thank you for posting! Just so you know (and the public in general because I’ve heard rumors going around) Black Forest accepts all types of individuals (male, female, different cultural backgrounds, lesbians, gays, seniors, young adults — we don’t care as long as your genuine interest in spirituality is there and your interest lies in eventually training others). As for what you do in life, we have entire covens of police officers, military personnel, and medical individuals — what you do for a living isn’t an issue with us either, and we do work around an individual’s choice of career. I have two children in the military service, and we have been a military family for many years in that regard. As to not sending to APO’s — I don’t have a big company — I’m just a writer, and in my small crafting ventures, I’ve never refused an APO or FPO. And, for the record, I don’t take any drugs of any kind, not even prescription ones, unless I have a cold. Then I will break down and take an antibiotic. I’m not sure what you mean by being notified again, because I have no blast e-mail, no list that I send things to other than the social network of Facebook and the use of Twitter. In all that, however, I feel your pain, and I want to tell you that you do incorporate magick in your life every day — by the way you think, act, plan, and do. The true magick is that of your mind, which is incredibly powerful and can take you anywhere to do anything. You just have to acknowledge it, and believe it. Many blessings!

  8. Thank You for your Encouraging words. I have a 6 year old son with Autism/Aspergers and at times, things become *Beyond* Overwhelming! It is difficult, especially when we are out in Public and he will Tantrum and sound like he is being Tortured, and other people will give me that “Control Your Child” Look, or, better yet- they will make rude comments regarding my Parenting…
    There have only been a handful of times where I have explained his disabilities and have received apologies, but it doesn’t ease the frustration and embarassment that I feel.
    We don’t have family or friends to “Help” and/or give us a break, they are all on the other side of the country, so it is justmy husband and myself who are primary caregivers, we have had to learn how to excuse ourselves from ‘Caregiver Mode” and, through much experience, have learned each other’s cues, and the other will step in to allow a few moments of “Re-Group” time.
    It is necessary to walk away, take a breather and re-ground (You’re absolutley right about showers!) I will also just stand out in the yard and focus until I feel the warm/cold and know that I am solidly grounded.
    Changing Routine as far as my son is concerned is not an option (Autistic Children *Depend* on Routine) However, I have been taking steps to change my own routine before he wakes up for the day, and after h has gone to bed at night. I have to stay positive and remember that we are not given anything we cannot handle, although, at times, I feel like I’m failing miserably, but I cannot imagine anyone else taking care of him.
    Again, Thank You for the Encouragng words! I really needed that re-assurance!
    Namaste,
    Deb

    1. You are in no way failing!!! Let me assure you that both you and your husband have nice, high vibrations. You do have a lot of help out here, and around you. There are angels all over the place and at least one jolly ancestor (haven’t a clue who, but that guy is a real card. Talk to them. They will hear you and help.

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